Digital Digital Get Down

THE REAL DIGITAL LOVE

Above: Sal9000 on his honeymoon with his virtual wife Nene Anegasaki. 

People like to say...'You can't help who you fall in love with'...

And  I like to think it's true. But when it comes to the above story...is it a question of 'who'? or 'what'? 

What CAN you fall in love with? For some people...apparently, it could be a picture of a beautiful animated girl...for others, it could be a pillowcase...some men get very attached to dolls and bid them tearfull farewells when they have to go away to the 'hospital' (ie. the factory for maintenance work)...and for a select few...falling in love can happen when they watch a couple of pretty horses gallop across a meadow. 

But don't you stop and wonder...why is it always men who fall in love with unusual subjects. Go out and find me a story about a woman who has the hots for her gingerbread man and I'll start to believe that this thing works both ways. I don't know but doesn't this prove that men are more in need of love than women are? And if so, why are we still complaining about our singlehood?

Catch the Birdie

I've recently had the pleasure of being introduced into the world of bird watching...My life moves in strange ways indeed. And I realised that birdwatching is like man-watching. 

>> Just like birds, you spend hours observing and hoping for a beautiful one to come along. 

>> You spend hours and travel across the globe just looking for that one bird that checks all the criteria you are looking for. 

>> When you do spot a bird, you have to identify its characteristics. Does it have the markings of a good strong species?

>> If and when you do identify a rare bird (ie. a good man) everyone wants a piece of it. They will all clap and applaud it's beauty and spend hours, even days just observing it giving you small chance of capturing it yourself. 

>> When you do spot a beautiful, rare bird...you are always worried it will fly away. 

Six Pack Pact

This weekend I spent drooling over Ryan Reynolds. Erm, not literally. *sniff sniff*. And I was thinking to myself, oh man, will I ever get to feel a six pack like that ever in my life? I've never even seen one in real life. How sad is that? So in ode to the stuff we may never get to do, I've devised a list of things I wanna see (and touch) if I ever get the chance to before it's too damn late.

My Six Pack Pacts To Myself:

# Touch a six or eight pack abs like Ryan Reynold's or Rain's. (Anybody wanna go watch Ninja Assassin? *drool*)

# Shag someone with the 'hip line' (you know that one that goes from hip to *nether regions*...) Wahhhh.

# Have an incredibly pretty boy kiss me (by pretty I mean like the doe-eyes of Zack Effron and the lucious man-bangs of Chace Crawford) WOO!

# Have a super hot, super toned surfer dude teach me how to surf. Duuudddeee!

# Go out with a celebrity so we can take that classic papparazzi shot of him holding my hand and leading me away from the adoring crowd (with sunglasses and cap pulled down low of course). (And no, photoshopping yourself into a photo with Wentworth Miller [you KNOW who you are] does not count!!!]

Now, don't be shy...tell me what your six-pack dreams are....*sigh*

Panic Fantastique

Potsie sent me an email this morning saying that she had a panic attack last night. It is the age old single girl in her *sniff sniff* late twenties panic attack...the What If I'm Single Forever attack.

It is the kind of realisation that makes us suddenly want to wear more makeup or go to bars and pretend to smoke...or start laughing hysterically at very dull men. It is the kind of attack that well, makes you start a blog to try and remind yourself that being single can be happy too. Hah.

Well, 3 years ago, when I was still in the brighter side of my twenties, I had the attack. It occured to me that if I wanted to meet a nice boy, be with him for a couple of years before we get married, I should be actively start searching for him NOW NOW NOW. Unfortunately that was 3 years ago, and I fell in love with the right boy but at the wrong time and 3 years on, I am still very much single and the panic is starting to rise again.

What you should do when you get the Single-forever Panic Attack (SPA).

# - Think about the nice boys that you know and whether they're single. If they are, time to start thinking if you could be more than friends.

# - Become more sociable and don't turn down invitations to cool parties because you have to wash your hair.

# - Try online dating. (But please be careful)

# - Get a back up. Make a pact with a single good guy friend (gay or not gay) to get married by age whatever if you're both still single.

# - Get another back up. If you don't have any willing male friends, time to ask one of your sorority sisters if they want to share your sorority spinster house.

Syok Sendiri-ness (Hot For Yourself)

The other night I went out with a couple of FSGs (Fellow Single Girls) and were standing in line for the club. When we had been waiting for all of 10 minutes and were getting suitably hot and bothered this is what my FSG friend had to say:

FSG#1: They should let us go to the front and get in for free.

Happsgirl: Why?

FSG#1: Coz we're hot.

FSG#2: That's not a reason.

FSG#1: It should be.

Teeheehee. It got me thinking, do we over-estimate ourselves sometimes? Ok, do we over-estimate ourselves all the time? To the point of it maybe being the very reason we're single? I think I do. Case in point...perfectly nice normal boy comes and talks to you in the club...you say hi, but reckon, hey, you're hot enough tonight to hook up with the DJ. You end the night hanging around DJ's booth and then watch him take off with a model while perfectly nice boy has gone home with some ugly, bitchy girl you know he's too good for.

We bring this on ourselves. We do.

Signs you may be suffering from a bad case of syok-sendiri-ness:

#1 - You think you look hot even when you've just woken up and have eye bags that hang to your chin and hair that looks like an orang gila (crazy person).

#2 - When people ask you what's your lowest standard of guy you would date, you say 'billionnaire male model'.

#3 - If you go to a gig and the only people you think are good enough to hook up with are band members. Worse still if the band is made up of err, John Mayer alone.

#4 - You think you're compromising when you get asked out by a nice, cute guy but he doesn't happen to be a prince.

#5 - You demand to be let into a club on account of your hotness. Even if it entails a big embarrassing fight with the bouncers and the phrase 'Do you know who my father is?' being thrown about.

#6 - You think people are checking you out all the time, even when you're driving and people are looking in your direction because you are the oncoming traffic they need to avoid.