How to be Happy (and Single)

I apologise...I have been rather intermittent in my blog posts. And no, it's not because I stopped being single. Or that I got caught by some buff Korean boy and disappeared. Very much the opposite. I am still very much the single girl. So fret not, I still have reason to continue this blog. Heehee.

I wrote sometime back that maybe the reason I am a happy single is because I never set myself up with the expectation that I would NOT be single later in life. I also wrote that the secret to being single is to have an I-Bf (Imaginary Bf) which works, but only for those brave enough to admit to being nut-jobs :)

But I've given it some thought. There IS a way to be happy and be alone. So here's how it has worked (in the past year or so) for me.

1) Love. 
Believe in it. Find it wherever you can. In your family, in your friends, in religion, in the things that make you up. If you start to understand what Love is, in the biggest sense of the word, then you will find that you are never really alone and that if it is in your life, in any form, you can't be unhappy.

2) Like what you do.
It's simple. If you're sitting in an office hating every hour that goes by in a job you can't stand, evidently you'll be wishing twice as hard for someone to whisk you away to something, anything else to preoccupy yourself with. Find something you're good at, do it well, and you'll find it hard not to be satisfied.

3) Have faith.
Everything will work out. You'll see. Believe that things will be ok. With or without a man. With or without a partner. Have some faith that you're good enough for you.

4) Go places. 
See the world. There's so much of it anyway. The more people you meet, the more amazing adventures you go on, the more stories you will tell. Witnessing how hard or wonderful it is the way others live will teach you that finding one true life partner may not be the answer to all things and that soulmates come in many shapes and sizes.

5) Fun, fun, fun.
Above all, the real secret to being happy and single? Have a ton of FUN. Enjoy your life as it is. Don't regret, don't hesitate, go forth and enjoy yourself...Laugh. Whatever situation you may find yourself in, whatever heartbreak, get over it, laugh it off...if you're dancing your way through, someone just might dance with you.

How it's done in Seoul

So here's a baffling one...

While partying in Seoul, what happens is some big buff not too ugleh dude (because most dudes in S.Korea aren't ugly anyway) comes up from behind, engulfs me in a big bear hug, gives me a pat on the head a few times and then off he goes. That's it. Not a word, not a dance, not a smile. Bear hug, pat on head, byebye.
Mind you, Korean dudes are respectful enough not to let their fingers roam even when you are trapped in the clutches of their big buff milky white arms.

Baffled, I asked a male Seoul-ite friend and apparently, that's how it's done. Bear hug to letcha know he's erm... THERE, pat on the head to letcha know he thinks you're cute and then that's it. Up to you to pick up on the game. Except I was in too much shock horror to respond in any appropriate fashion other than to shout "OMG WTF IS GOING ON?"

Now I wonder, is this behaviour appropriate if done the other way round? If say, erm, someone I know might want to run up to a pretty boy and try engulfing him in a bearhug and pat his head? And if so, can we adopt it in less forward Asian shores?

Template of a Love Letter

For those of you who ever find yourselves at a loss .... here's a template where you can fill in the brackets yourselves.

Dear you,


Before, I didn't know you. I didn't know anything about you. I didn't know your face, your name, where you came from, what you did, who you were. 


I didn't know
The way you .... (walk, with slight misstep like a little boy)
Or that.... (silly face you pull when you stick your tongue out)

I hadn't memorised
your .... (fingers and the way they bend slightly backwards)
or your .... (spine and how it curves when you hunch over your late night work)


I hadn't counted on
the sound of .... (your voice - distinct, lilted, safe)
or the way you .... (wear your head - crazy hair, slight frown, preferably with hat)


It wasn't etched in my mind
your .... (silhouette, standing in the rain as you watch me leave)
or that .... (line on your cheek I like to trace)


There wasn't space for...
your .... (history - how it grounds you)
or the way you .... (place your hand on the small of my back)


Before...I did not know you. 


Not one thing about you.
 
But now...here it is. I know all about you.
And my love, how wonderful...
That all I know now, is you.

Ode to the Good Girl

It is becoming increasingly clear that good girls are hard to come by and sadly for the good girl, she gets dismissed even when she is ever present. I want to celebrate the good girl. The one you missed. The girl who is right in front of you but whom you simply look past. The one that you know is good for you but don't really want. The girl whom you think you're too good for. The girl whom you think is too good for you. I want to celebrate the girl who is more real than anyone else you know. The good girl.

*Dedicated to all the single, fabulous, good girls I know :)

WHY YOU SHOULD FIND A GOOD GIRL...

>> She is real. The good girl doesn't seem to flit around a daydream. She is in your face, she is vocal, she isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. She doesn't have time to play up to a fantasy because she is here, she is now and she is present.

>>She has heart. What I mean is, she has a good heart. At the base of it all, the good girl cares more about things than she lets on. She wants to save the world and you to help her do it.It is not her that you need to save.
>> She is animated. The girl you see isn't afraid of showing her feelings. She will tell you if she likes you or that she is sad or happy. The good girl feels and acts, sometimes on impulse but at least you will always know that she is a red-blooded, living, breathing person. 

>> She is happy. She likes to make the most out of life and she won't shy away from making a fool out of herself or to celebrate all the wonderful things that make her happy. She will laugh at life and she will make you laugh.

>> She is strong. Which is why most probably you never really gave her the time of day. The good girl will pick up the pieces not fall to pieces. We all know boys want girls they feel the need to save and unfortunately, the good girl doesn't need that because she's been too busy building a life not ruining one.

>> She won't break your heart. Chances are, it's the good girl who will be the one who will stand by you and fight your battles with you...loyal to the end. Chances are, she will be the one left behind when you decide to move on. And, chances are, she'll be the one with the broken heart.

So give the good girl a chance, guys...They might be the best thing that could happen to you.

Reading and Dating

Read a rather lovely post today, HERE:

Why You Should Date A Girl Who Reads 

Which got me thinking about how we spend our time....when you're single and really have nothing better to do,  it really comes down to two things doesn't it?

Reading...

and

Dating.

Lately, because I've been working so much (both mentally, emotionally, and for the most part physically) I haven't had time to do either. Which I suppose has led to the rather sad neglect of this blog.

I used to be a girl who read. Really, I read a lot. At least 2 books a week! But now I can't even be bothered to pick up my juicy copy of Grazia (the best guilty pleasure EVER) and as for dates...nada. An FSG (Fellow Single Girl) said to me the other day, she can't remember the last time she'd been on a proper date. I thought back to the last time it was for myself...and I think I stopped trying to recall after it reached more than 1 year back. Which brings me to being roped into the horror of horrors that is Speed Dating. Yes, folks, I shall venture forth into the world of speed dating. Please someone tell me if this is a good or bad idea. I don't know. I'm scared. But also, I think it will be REALLY funny.

And as for reading,  is there a speed dating equivalent of reading? I'd really like to be considered a reader again...for want of nothing else, to get me back to being a girl people would want to date. Nyak nyak.

Why Virgins Are In

A virgin. No, REALLY.

The lack of good specimens in our vicinity has started to grate on us Happy Single Girls. (in more ways than one, I'll have you know...hurhurhur) Which has set us on a path to look for greener, fresher, riper....pastures.Unfortunately we have come up short. Men in our vicinity are either taken or too dirty. It really has come down to those two categories. Taken or Too Dirty.

Men in our vicinity... and why they aren't options:
Specimen #1: Cayenne Client
Well he's sort of the right age, drives not one but TWO Porche Cayennes (kaching!), is well spoken and well dressed...
Verdict: Too Dirty (he also happens to voice out his desire to see you dressed as a mermaid in very public very serious meetings and can't control himself if you wear a low cut top)

Speciment #2: Nice Bone Structure
He is lovely really. Nice guy, nice cheekbones, nice voice...nice nice. And cool too. Cool friends, cool style, cool house.
Verdict: Taken ( by an equally nice girl with probably cooler friends and cooler clothes...*pout*)

Specimen #3: Sport Supahstar
Hot, sexy, young, makes a pretty decent living....Oh, and famous. Did I mention Hot, Sexy AND Famous?
Verdict: Too Dirty (To be expected of a hot, sexy, famous and young boy I suppose.  Too many skankyhobagalots where he's dipped his famous marker pen into)

Which brings us to wish and hope for the one thing that isn't taken or dirty....
The virgin.
At least...with them...you're guaranteed some form of cleanliness and since the skankyhobagsalots haven't gotten to them yet, they are single and ripe for the picking.

Need we say more?

Year of the Number 1

My I-Bf, TOP

Happy New Year folks! 
I declare 2011 officially as the Year of the Number 1. Singledom reigns this year and I for one am undaunted. I think I can safely say I have never been happier as a single and I have to say, this is all due to the fact I have found the secret to being so...well, damn happy.

The answer folks is simple...an Imaginary Boyfriend. Yes yes...I found myself one. I always dreamed of Imaginary Husbands but an Imaginary Boyfriend is so much more fun. Husbands, albeit imaginary require some degree of commitment but I-Bfs require no such loyalty. You can have him for as long as you want, flit between his friends, marry him some days...dump him on others for other obsessions...Splendid arrangement really.

Why I Love My Imaginary Boyfriend (I-Bf) 

>> He is handsome. 
(Obviously when choosing the I-Bf you probably want to go with someone who makes your mind go blank at the mere sight of his face.) My I-Bf has been declared the Hottest Man in Korea 2011, so we know his beauty is palpable. This also ensures that there is no shortage of his image in every imaginable pose being thrown at you on a nearly daily basis.


>> He is a superstar. 
This is the I-Bfs most important quality. He needs to be so famous that there are always people out there happy to document his every move and activity for your viewing pleasure. The more famous and stalked he is the better for me I say. It feels as if I'm REALLY part of his life because I know his schedule better than say I know my own.

>> He has cool friends. 
I'm lucky. My I-Bf has a bunch of friends just as famous or probably more famous than he is and all are just as pretty as he. It's important because should you tire of your I-Bf, here are his friends to distract you while you take your time out from your beloved. Sometimes, I cheat on my I-Bf with his best friends...It's okay. Having an I-Bf allows you to do that. He will never know.

>> He makes me laugh.
My I-Bf genuinely makes me laugh. Sometimes I'd remember some stupid thing he said or did and literally start guffawing. I'm again, lucky. It just so happens that my I-Bfs sense of humour really appeals to me and that he seems to have turned into a comedian of late. Of course, if you choose an I-Bf who happens to be a professional comedian, even BETTER!

>> What he does makes me happy.
He makes music that makes me happy. So you laugh, what happened to the indie girl who listened to proper, interesting music? Here's what I have to say...if it makes you feel like dancing, feel like a champ, feel like laughing, feel like having fun? It's good for you.

>> He is available on request. (And unavailable when you ask him to piss off)
Probably the best thing about an I-Bf, really. Conjure him up when you need him most and forget about him when you've got better things to do. He doesn't complain. And you never have to put up with any of his negative traits. (except maybe his being TOO goodlooking and your having to read comments by hobagskankysluts who want to do rather unmentionable things to him).

>> My friends approve of him.
Who wouldn't though? Some of my friends even indulge me as much as to have I-Bfs of their own who happen to be his friends. This takes the imaginary relationships to the next level because it's as if your lives are all interlinked. Friends with I-Bfs of their own is a kewl thing. Just make sure you don't have the same I-Bf (which can happen more often than not) as your besties. That can be sticky. Luckily, my friends and I have vastly different tastes.

And there you have it. Why I am the happiest a single girl can be. It's quite simple. I highly recommend it.

And no, I haven't lost my marbles.

Ok, a bit. teehee.