Taken or Not Taken?

It has dawned on me that at 26, I am at an age where I am becoming susceptible to a certain type of man taking an interest. We are now open to being victims to the type of man who will hit on us regardless if they have a girlfriend, wife, child or (not so ex) ex in the wings.

To prevent my fellow girls from falling into the trap of the Sleazy/Hamsap/Gatal Taken Man, here are some steps you should take the next time you find yourself wondering.

#1 -When you are deep in convo with the SHGTM, first and foremost you must pose this question: Hey, are you single?

#2 - If the SHGTM takes more than 4 secs to answer you, raise the alarm and RUN AWAY. You should also employ the same reaction if he either shifts uncomfortably when asked, if his eyes glaze over or he looks wisful, if he suddenly becomes deaf or if he answers you with a sleazy/hamsap/gatal smile.

#3 (a)- If the SHGTM says 'Yes, I am single', then you must be sure he answers you straightaway and looks you in the eye.

#3 (b) - If the SHGTM says 'No, I'm not...does it matter?'...your SHGTM has obviously turned into a Professional Asshole. A Professional Asshole is not worth your time. You should either RUN VERY FAR AWAY or slap him.

#4 - After the single question has been asked and answered, you must still take precautions. If the SHGTM starts to fidget everytime his phone rings, you must ask him: 'Hey, who's this that keeps calling you?'

#5 - If the SHGTM becomes deaf again or looks annoyed or glares at you, raise the alarm and RUN AWAY. Also do this if he starts laughing hysterically, or if he says 'It's my mother.'

#6 - If you have neglected to ask the all too important single question, you can also keep in mind some hints that you are dealing with a SHGTM. He will most probably only be available when he's overseas. He won't play hard to get with you. He will complain about the bad habits of 'certain' other women. He will most definitely not want to be seen in very public places with you.

The SHGTM is quite a sneaky bugger. He will most probably try to convince you that he is single, available, and really into you so please beware and trust your instincts. You are now at a vulnerable age where men may not be single, available and madly into you without hidden clauses.