A Letter A Day Keeps The Looneys Away

I've been inspired by Prontip who blogged about when she broke up with her ex-bf and decided that to win him back she would write him a letter every day telling him why he should come back to her.

Here is the first letter I would write to you...

Dear Baxter,
I was secretly in love with you. Oh yesssiree. After this long and this much time apart, I am saying it now. I might as well, I have nothing to lose. You probably don't remember me anyway.
I don't remember you either. All I have left of you is the shape of your fingertips. I know, it's a strange thing to say...or to remember.
But yes, I was secretly in love witn you, I always in some way, will be. So there. Don't freak out.

The second letter:
Dear Baxter,

So you're probably wondering why, how? It all started when you started being so bloody nice to me. And then you started being so bloody funny. And then sometimes, you would look at me as if I was in on your joke. That unravelled me. I thought you were fantastic.

It wasn't as if I woke up one day and realised I was in love with you. There were days I hated you. There were days I didn't think about you at all. There were days when I loved somebody else.

What floors me is that it doesn't take much for someone to make you fall in love with them. I just really liked being around you. When you were there, it was always so much better than when you weren't. That's all.

The third letter:
Dear Baxter,
I used to wish you'd wake up and be in love with me.

The fourth letter:
Dear Baxter,
Here's why I thought you should be in love with me. I think I get it...whatever it is you're trying to do to get happy.
I'm also a fantastic catch. And I can make you laugh.
And I'm Asian, and Asian wives are so much better than skanky ho German or English ones. I'll explain this at length sometime later. Seriously though, you should consider this fact: Asian women have been TRAINED to serve their husbands since birth. So..yeah.
If you aren't attracted to me, consider this other fact: I'm very bendy.

The fifth letter:
Dear Baxter,
I took the time to bloody write complete sagas about you. That act alone suggests a very high level of commitment and loyalty on my part. Considering, as you know, I am a very busy and popular woman.

The sixth letter:
Dear Baxter,
Why shouldn't you be in love with me? I mean I'm fantastic, and you look like a monkey.

The seventh letter:

Dear Baxter,
One day I woke up and realised I wasn't in love with you. I lost you. And facts was facts, you would never love me back. So that's that.

You're such an idiot.

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