Turn Your Head Now Baby

Repost from Potsie:

So apparently not all relationships start with a “will you be my girlfriend?” followed by a hug. How do you know its the starting point if no one pops the question? It’s important cos you’re supposed to get presents every anniversary. Personally, I prefer the type of relationship where you celebrate every month. More presents.

Here are some hints:

1) After the first kiss - Michelle Douglas (2007). His Christmas Angel. Chatswood Aus: Harlequin Mills & Boons

2) After falling into bed (cos they so lustful for each other) – Susan Donovan (2002). Knock Me Off My Feet. New York USA: St Martin’s Press

3) After reading stories to his grandmother - Julia Quinn (2006). It’s In His Kiss. Great Britain: Piatkus Books Ltd

4) After ‘accidentally’ putting his mouth on her boob cos there was a bee sting – Julia Quinn (2006). The Viscount Who Loved Me. Great Britain: Piatkus Books Ltd

‘Accidental’ senarios are good cos that way you can blame it on the accident and not your hiaoness therefore maintaining your sacredness and purity.

Glossary:

Hiaoness - Kegatalan / Horniness

Homemade Meat Balls

Repost from Potsie: 

when i was 5, i thought i’d grow up looking like barbie doll. cos my grandma said so. back then, i didn’t know grandma’s love could be so biased.

when i was 5, i had my first crush. i slow danced with that boy. he proceeded to put his hands into his shorts to scratch his butt. then placed it back on my shoulder.

when i was 13, i thought i’d marry jonathan taylor thomas. i thought we were truly MFEO. i’d memorize his biodata (source: tigerbeat magazine) and discovered we had the same passions. i’d do “are you what JTT is looking for??” quizzes and get all the right answers. my love knew no boundaries. i thought i’d move to US of A and marry him.

i’m now 27 and the day is exceptionally good if i get to pangsai twice. full load, mind you.

Glossary:

MFEO - Made For Each Other

pangsai - poop

On Beanie Spotting

I recently spent an entire weekend Beanie-Spotting (on the lookout for hamsem men to you) and have concluded that in a festival ground which held oh roundabout 3000 men, I spotted maybe 3 that peaked my interest. 2 were taken so that left just 1 man who could've potentially been a Beanie that was 'My Taips'.

Beanie #1 - French and had a messy sort of ponytail thing going on. If you're thinking, ok, ponytail = NO ...think again. This dude made an ugly scraggly ponytail, a kaftan type top and baggy thai trousers look HOT. Think, David Beckham in a sarong. Messy-chic.

Beanie #2 - The Dan-lookalike. Because he reminds me of a Dan I used to know. Blonde, twatty looking and slightly pudgier than my usual beanpole type. He was on the same flight back as me but he was in the executive lounge. Good sign! Then he got on the same train back as well, which prompted me to change seats to get a better view of him.

Beanie #3 - I think I noticed him coz I think he stars in an Indo-drama. He peaked my penchant for Elite-Melayu interest. And he wore a scarf. Unfortunately, the next night I saw a Hobag hanging around with him. He smiled at me tho. (Probably coz he thought I might be an Indo drama star too) teehee.

In a side note, this is what you should do if you want to give off the impression that you're super cool (even when you're not really).

- If a guy calls you and says he's spotted you in a crowd, you must act super surprised and ask him to come find you. But when you see him approaching, you disappear. If he texts and asks you where you went, you say you got dragged off by a group of super happening friends.

- If you see a cute guy looking at you and you happen to be standing alone, you quickly turn to the nearest guy friend and pretend you're having a riveting conversation with him and laugh alot.

- If you find yourself alone and someone you like is approaching you, you turn to the people next to you and pretend that you're with that group. When the person is close by, walk away from the group using the excuse that you're off to get drinks for everyone.

- If you're walking by a cute guy and his group of cute friends, engage a GBF to shout from far off what a BABE you are and how you MUST be at a party because you're not only a babe, you're also super duper fun.

* Glossary

Beanie - Hot guy

Beanie-Spotting - Looking for hot guys

Hamsem - Handsome

Taips - Type

My-Taips - My type of man

Indo - Indonesian

Elite-Melayu - High class Malays

Hobag - Whore / Slut / Skank

Happs - Happening

GBF - Gay Best Friend