Dreams Obscene

5 Reasons Why Eric Northman is the perfect fantasy:

1) He's 6'5, blonde, muscular and Nordic.

2) His bloodshot eyes and his perfectly white fanged teeth are sexy as hell.

3) He is loyal and smart.

4) His 1000 year old wisdom has given him a sense of humour.

5) He can fly.

To All The Boys I've Loved Before....

Fantasy husbands and fantasy boyfriends are the best. I mean, I have them to thank for my incredibly warped ideas on the kind of person I should be with. So in ode to their famous fabulous selves, here is a list of the fantastic fantasy hubbies of my past:
In chronological order (teehee)...

1) Ronan Keating 
Years of marriage: 2 years (1996-1998)
 How I proved my love: On top of the list was refusing to talk to my mother for 2 weeks until she caved into taking me to a Boyzone concert. The only time I did talk to her was to scream 'YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!' when she questioned why a stupid boy band was so important. I am also STILL the proud owner of 2 Boyzone Tshirts and a couple of copies of the Boyzone official magazine. 
Reasons for divorce: Boyzone broke up and he became a solo artist asshole. 

2) Joshua Scott Chasez (JC Chasez) 
Years of marriage: 4 years (1998 - 2002) 
Years of eternal love: 12 years (1998 - Current)
How I proved my love: I once wrote an email to JC and accidentally forwarded it to all my cool friends who were quite unaware to the extent of my FANaticism and thought I listened to Radiohead. I've also bought a couple of tops that resemble the type he wore in the 'Its Gonna Be Me' video. On the 8th of August every year I will still secretly wish him a Happy Birthday. On many of my notebooks are scribbled the initials JC of which some of my college mates thought meant I was super religious (JC= Jesus Christ too). 
Reasons for love hiatus: He started wearing yellow PVC pants and grew long greasy curls. I love him back now tho! 

3) Brandon Boyd 
Years of marriage: 2 years (2003-2005)
How I proved my love: In my 3rd year uni room, there was only one poster on the wall - a giant black and white photograph of Mr. Boyd where I liked to think I worshipped at his feet. When a friend of mine showed me a pic of his friend taken with Brandon on the day after I found out I didn't get tickets to an Incubus concert, I wrote him a suicide note saying he'd pushed me over the edge. 
Reasons for divorce: He got together with Carolyn Murphy and I thought, can't compete with that. 

4) Wentworth Miller
Years of Marriage: 3 years (2005 - 2008)
How I proved my love: When Facebook was still a relatively new phenomenon without stupid security features and moderators, I created a Wentworth Miller profile so my status could read 'Married to...Wentworth Miller' - it stayed that way for a whole year before the moderators removed my fake profile (Grrrr)
Reasons for divorce: I found out he was gay. 

There you have it, past husbands of my colourful fantasy love life. Admit it, who was yours?  

Kimchii Ramen

I've found reason to look East when looking for a husband. Next stop: Seoul, Korea. 

Five reasons why Kimchii should be your new favourite food...

Top to Bottom: Daniel Henney, Dennis Oh, Kim Sung Soo, Rain, Oh Ji-Ho

Year of the Gentleman

The lack of true gentlemen in our vicinity has really put a downer on the hope that maybe one day a Prince Charming might come along to sweep us off our feet. 

Seeing as I have recently been in the presence of the ULTIMATE gentleman, Mr. Ne-Yo himself, it got me thinking about all the right things men should do to keep women interested and happy around them. 

- Appreciate our presence. (Just like Ne-Yo regrets leaving his baby girl in the song Fade Into The Background)

- Don't take us for granted. (Ne-Yo makes a list of all the things he took for granted and makes it Part Of The List)

- Don't be rude to us. (Ne-Yo is so polite he offers to be our boyfriend in Single) 

- Always offer to help. (When you're sad, Ne-Yo offers to take you out for calamari, and asks the sun to stop shining So You Can Cry)

- Pick up the tab once in awhile. (Again, chocolicious Ne-Yo appreciates that a woman can be a Ms. Independent and pay her bills but he can look after her too)

We (my FSGs and I) have decided that since we started off 2010 by witnessing this choco-gentle-man  that 2010 should really be The Year Of The Gentleman. So let's clasp our hands in prayer and hope that this year will bring us fewer assholes more gentle, kind, worthy men. 

Flowers For Me?

The problem with having no good candidates in your life is that you start fantasising about the kind of men that you want. 

Unfortunately, the two men I've started fantasising about are:

1) Brandon Flowers

Problems: He's married. He's a Mormon. He's the frontman of The Killers. He's like super famous. And oh, Bally has called dibs on him ages ago. Tricky, tricky.

But I once wrote him a letter when he was still single and not so famous. Maybe I should send it.

2) Flower-painting Guy

Problems: I only discovered him last night. I've only seen half his face (the pic in the magazine was only side profile :( ). He lives in New York. He is most probably gay. Sniff Sniff. 

Maybe I should send him a letter too. His website has a contact sheet. Yay. 

Why Younger Men Rock

I think I have successfully proven that younger men are the way forward. Thank you...goodnight. 

B-Day (Bubble bursting-day)

If you wanna measure how much you matter to the 'men in your life', then there's no better way than when it comes to your birthday. Here are the responses of people I consider/considered to be *significant*. 

Former Love of Life (FLOL) - no wishes. From being the only person to make it special 3 years ago...to multiple messages 2 years ago...to belated wishes a year ago...to nothing. Silence. NOWT. Now I know why they call it EX-communicado.

Pseudo-Crush - he didn't know it was my birthday. 'Nuff said. Altho, he did try making up for it when I reminded him. Hurhur. 

Ridic - I don't think he got the message alert on FB since he has 10 000 friends and at least 100 ppl might've shared my bday. 

James Franco - despite the fact he doesn't know I exist, he STILL managed to turn up in Spiderman 3 which happened to be showing on the bus I was taking on my birthday. That was very nice of him. 

-----------------------

In more exciting news though, not one but TWO sexy older men(SOM) sent very sweet messages to me.

Message from SOM #1 - Hey sweetie, rumour has it it's your birthday...so happy birthday honey. (Cheap thrill factor: 8 outta 10) - sweet nothings sial! 

Message from SOM #2 - Happy birthday dear. *something intellectual I don't understand* Lots of love SOM#2. (Cheap thrill factor: 9 outta 10) - because it was damn intellectual. 

On Beanie Spotting

I recently spent an entire weekend Beanie-Spotting (on the lookout for hamsem men to you) and have concluded that in a festival ground which held oh roundabout 3000 men, I spotted maybe 3 that peaked my interest. 2 were taken so that left just 1 man who could've potentially been a Beanie that was 'My Taips'.

Beanie #1 - French and had a messy sort of ponytail thing going on. If you're thinking, ok, ponytail = NO ...think again. This dude made an ugly scraggly ponytail, a kaftan type top and baggy thai trousers look HOT. Think, David Beckham in a sarong. Messy-chic.

Beanie #2 - The Dan-lookalike. Because he reminds me of a Dan I used to know. Blonde, twatty looking and slightly pudgier than my usual beanpole type. He was on the same flight back as me but he was in the executive lounge. Good sign! Then he got on the same train back as well, which prompted me to change seats to get a better view of him.

Beanie #3 - I think I noticed him coz I think he stars in an Indo-drama. He peaked my penchant for Elite-Melayu interest. And he wore a scarf. Unfortunately, the next night I saw a Hobag hanging around with him. He smiled at me tho. (Probably coz he thought I might be an Indo drama star too) teehee.

In a side note, this is what you should do if you want to give off the impression that you're super cool (even when you're not really).

- If a guy calls you and says he's spotted you in a crowd, you must act super surprised and ask him to come find you. But when you see him approaching, you disappear. If he texts and asks you where you went, you say you got dragged off by a group of super happening friends.

- If you see a cute guy looking at you and you happen to be standing alone, you quickly turn to the nearest guy friend and pretend you're having a riveting conversation with him and laugh alot.

- If you find yourself alone and someone you like is approaching you, you turn to the people next to you and pretend that you're with that group. When the person is close by, walk away from the group using the excuse that you're off to get drinks for everyone.

- If you're walking by a cute guy and his group of cute friends, engage a GBF to shout from far off what a BABE you are and how you MUST be at a party because you're not only a babe, you're also super duper fun.

* Glossary

Beanie - Hot guy

Beanie-Spotting - Looking for hot guys

Hamsem - Handsome

Taips - Type

My-Taips - My type of man

Indo - Indonesian

Elite-Melayu - High class Malays

Hobag - Whore / Slut / Skank

Happs - Happening

GBF - Gay Best Friend