Tuesday, February 23, 2010

To All The Boys I've Loved Before....

Fantasy husbands and fantasy boyfriends are the best. I mean, I have them to thank for my incredibly warped ideas on the kind of person I should be with. So in ode to their famous fabulous selves, here is a list of the fantastic fantasy hubbies of my past:
In chronological order (teehee)...


1) Ronan Keating 
Years of marriage: 2 years (1996-1998)
 How I proved my love: On top of the list was refusing to talk to my mother for 2 weeks until she caved into taking me to a Boyzone concert. The only time I did talk to her was to scream 'YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!' when she questioned why a stupid boy band was so important. I am also STILL the proud owner of 2 Boyzone Tshirts and a couple of copies of the Boyzone official magazine. 
Reasons for divorce: Boyzone broke up and he became a solo artist asshole. 


2) Joshua Scott Chasez (JC Chasez) 
Years of marriage: 4 years (1998 - 2002) 
Years of eternal love: 12 years (1998 - Current)
How I proved my love: I once wrote an email to JC and accidentally forwarded it to all my cool friends who were quite unaware to the extent of my FANaticism and thought I listened to Radiohead. I've also bought a couple of tops that resemble the type he wore in the 'Its Gonna Be Me' video. On the 8th of August every year I will still secretly wish him a Happy Birthday. On many of my notebooks are scribbled the initials JC of which some of my college mates thought meant I was super religious (JC= Jesus Christ too). 
Reasons for love hiatus: He started wearing yellow PVC pants and grew long greasy curls. I love him back now tho! 


3) Brandon Boyd 
Years of marriage: 2 years (2003-2005)
How I proved my love: In my 3rd year uni room, there was only one poster on the wall - a giant black and white photograph of Mr. Boyd where I liked to think I worshipped at his feet. When a friend of mine showed me a pic of his friend taken with Brandon on the day after I found out I didn't get tickets to an Incubus concert, I wrote him a suicide note saying he'd pushed me over the edge. 
Reasons for divorce: He got together with Carolyn Murphy and I thought, can't compete with that. 


4) Wentworth Miller
Years of Marriage: 3 years (2005 - 2008)
How I proved my love: When Facebook was still a relatively new phenomenon without stupid security features and moderators, I created a Wentworth Miller profile so my status could read 'Married to...Wentworth Miller' - it stayed that way for a whole year before the moderators removed my fake profile (Grrrr)
Reasons for divorce: I found out he was gay. 

There you have it, past husbands of my colourful fantasy love life. Admit it, who was yours?  

7 comments:

  1. HAhahahaha Sha, good choice of MEN!!
    I just love reading your blog :)

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  2. lmfao!! girl, this is fabulous!

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  3. Brad Pitt, Prince William, Ryan Cabrera, Adam Levine among others. :P

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  4. Wentworth Miller is Gay!!!! Where the hell have I been????

    You had me in stitches, Shakila. Brilliant!

    I was married to Keanu Reeves, Nick Carter, Nigel Harman and most recently Riz Ahmed.
    I am terribly ashamed to admit and also hate myself for having an affair with Johnny Depp. Obviously, I saw the error of my ways and we are no longer together...until he dumps Vanessa :)

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  5. Daniel Johns from silverchair for 6 years! I stopped when he started fainting from his strict vegan diet. Then he married Natalie Imbruglia. Then he grew a moustache resembling Adolf's. I wasted my whole teenage life on this man.

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  6. yay! thanks for all the comments ladies!
    shaz: well, its not been confirmed but app he's got a boyfriend he's adopting a baby with :( and ur list is pretty eclectic.hehe.
    Phing:You should've played the field more :P

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  7. ronan keating from boyzone, followed by fred durst from limp bizkit and scott weiland from the now defunct stone temple pilots, and most recently, gerard butler, and matt bellamy from muse.

    u can see how my taste in men has evolved rather drastically.

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