Signs you know you're turning into a certified old maid:
- You look forward to your bowl of porridge mixed with Bovril and vegetables every night.
- The thought of going out makes you so tired, you actually fall asleep by 10pm.
- Waxing has become irrelevant.
- You text your Mom wondering what she's up to and find out that she's out having more fun than you are.
- When you go to a wedding and decline going up to catch the bouquet because you do not think the thrill applies to you anymore.
- You think nothing of probing single girls at weddings about when their turn is.
- If you come into contact with a cute guy and his smile just makes you think 'I forgot to buy floss at Tesco'.
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