Saturday, August 22, 2009

How To Be A Happy Clappy

I think if you're single, it is a lot harder to get happy. Especially if stupid things like big friggin' Queens and other random sadnesses make you sometimes want to sit in a dark hole and not come out. So here are a few ways in which, if you're alone, you can start seeing the light side to things.

1) If you're home on a Friday night yet again with your bowl of Bovril porridge, take heart in the fact that at least, the face mask you have on (because nobody is around to see you in it) will ensure you have good skin.

2) Use your free Saturday nights to give yourself a nice mani-pedi. A wise friend once told me that painting your nails has a calming effect and works on the logic that, if your hands and feet look pretty, the world will seem like a prettier place too.

3) If haven't gotten some action in awhile, buy a plane ticket and go on holiday to a sunny beachy location filled with backpackers. Better yet, learn something fun like surfing or mountain climbing. Once you see the array of toned honed torsos, the world will be like a buffet.

4) If you're saddened by the fact that you are buying dinner for one. Don't be. At least you are saving money and you can eat whatever the hell you want.

5) Being alone enables you to have more time on your hands to spend with your FSGs (Fellow Single Girls). What better way to cheer you up than to bitch, moan and gossip about men with your best girls?

Next time you feel suicidal, just remember, there are worse things than being alone. Like contracting syphillis from a multi-cheating man who has hairy knuckles.


  1. oh my god. which multicheating hairy knuckled man has syphilis???

  2. Ha ha ha, I miss you man. I really do. I miss you and Tas soo much. Feel so damn friendless here sometimes :(