Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Compatibility = 48%

I've coined a new term. I am 'mentally married'. That is to say, I am taken. Not like, in real life obviously. But like, in my head, I am no longer available. Tis the folly of finally finding the perfect man. No, I don't mean sort of, kind of, he's a nice guy kinda perfect. I mean, REALLY perfect. As in on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best of the best, he's a 12 kind of perfect. I mean, checking all the right boxes and then some sort of perfect. Yeah, I actually found him. No, really. HALLELUJAH praise the heavens! He exists! Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am taken. By the perfect man.

How to be 'mentally married' 101:

- Find the Perfect Man (Not an easy feat but achievable)

- Forget that there were any other men before him. (Former Love of Life types are chucked aside like shrubs in a stampede)

- Make sure you convince everyone you are taken.

- When people ask 'Why him?'...give them The List (that is to say, all the points that add up to making him a 12)

- If you are swayed by any other person quickly match them up against the Perfect Man, their shortcomings will make you stay faithful to your Perfect Man.

- Accept that his awesomeness negates the need for his physical presence.

I think I've found the answer to being a truly happy single girl. Get 'mentally married'. Once you are, you'll find that being single isn't actually that difficult.


  1. How cool! Sounds like being mentally married is the way to go these days, especially with all the D-bags out there ;)

  2. hi Happsgirl,

    i stumbled on your blog by accident and i have to say kudos to an incredibly great (albeit slightly twisted :P) sense of humor.

    i will be back for more :)