Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Compatibility = 48%

I've coined a new term. I am 'mentally married'. That is to say, I am taken. Not like, in real life obviously. But like, in my head, I am no longer available. Tis the folly of finally finding the perfect man. No, I don't mean sort of, kind of, he's a nice guy kinda perfect. I mean, REALLY perfect. As in on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best of the best, he's a 12 kind of perfect. I mean, checking all the right boxes and then some sort of perfect. Yeah, I actually found him. No, really. HALLELUJAH praise the heavens! He exists! Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am taken. By the perfect man.

How to be 'mentally married' 101:

- Find the Perfect Man (Not an easy feat but achievable)

- Forget that there were any other men before him. (Former Love of Life types are chucked aside like shrubs in a stampede)

- Make sure you convince everyone you are taken.

- When people ask 'Why him?'...give them The List (that is to say, all the points that add up to making him a 12)

- If you are swayed by any other person quickly match them up against the Perfect Man, their shortcomings will make you stay faithful to your Perfect Man.

- Accept that his awesomeness negates the need for his physical presence.

I think I've found the answer to being a truly happy single girl. Get 'mentally married'. Once you are, you'll find that being single isn't actually that difficult.

2 comments:

  1. How cool! Sounds like being mentally married is the way to go these days, especially with all the D-bags out there ;)

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  2. hi Happsgirl,

    i stumbled on your blog by accident and i have to say kudos to an incredibly great (albeit slightly twisted :P) sense of humor.

    i will be back for more :)

    ReplyDelete