Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Twitter Stalking 101

Twitter is evil. It makes you believe that if you follow someone, you might actually be one degree closer to them. Here's how to get the object of your affection to notice you should he have oh, more than 1000 followers.

1) Re-tweet every one of his tweets.Time is of the essence, the faster you retweet, the more chances he might notice your efficiency. Heehee.

2) Mention him in most of your inane tweets (ie. Today I'm going to listen to Jamiroquai..which reminds me of @HotGuy)

3) Reply his tweets if he asks a question, even if you dunno what the hell he's on about.(ie. HotGuy tweets: Hey, anyone know where the gig is on tonight?? You reply: @HotGuy Yah man, it's just down the road, you going?)

4) Follow all the people he follows.

5) Click on any link he posts and start commenting on the tweetphotos or videos he's posted.

Even if your man has 1 million followers, he might start to notice you if you adhere to these 5 simple steps. Let me know if it works!


  1. funny you write about this.

    barely a week ago i got off Twitter because of my stalking and delusional-enhancing.

    Twitter is evil. almost more evil than Facebook.

  2. Hey, it worked for her what!

  3. I'm gonna try this on Miyavi :)
    WIll let you know if he takes notice.

    But while I'm trying it on Miyavi, you gotta try it on someone too. And by the end of two weeks, we can compare notes!

    As for twitter being evil, yeah you're probably right. But I only just got active on it, so I haven't felt the evilness yet.