Sunday, May 23, 2010

Letter To My Younger Self

Dear 19 year old Happsgirl,

If you're doing what I think you're doing right now, I'd like to ask you to STOP right there.

I know you've just picked up the pen and started another 'Dear Someone' letter and started dreaming about everything he is and could be. I know you're making someone perfect up. Someone you're almost entirely sure you'd meet. You've started imagining the fated meeting and the happy ending. I KNOW you're doing PLEASE just stop! I'm here to tell you a few things you might not want to hear but I swear, you'll thank me when you meet me (eventually).

First of all, you need to stop making up the perfect man. I know you imagine him strange, beautiful, kind and with eyes that see you whole. You imagine him to drift on an ocean and find you standing on an island. He will find you, he will see you and he will be impossibly beautiful. Yes, I know what you're already making him out to be. So stop crafting out this imaginary fantastic character right this minute. The more you imagine him, the more impossible he will become.

If you keep this up, you'll end up looking past every single fantastic boy that crosses your path. You'll pick at their flaws. Realise they aren't that imaginary boy and you'll lose them, one by one. That is a sad truth. This is only for your own protection because one day you might very well meet the boy who lives up to the ideal and it will floor you and if you lose him (that is not to say you won't hold on to him) but IF and IF you lose him, you will break. And that will waste a lot of time.

Another thing you need to stop thinking is that in 5 or 10 or 20 years time, you won't be alone. I know, it's a horrible thought. My GOD, how cruel. Not to be getting married at 29 or have kids by 39 or watching your children graduate by 49. But listen carefully, it is VERY possible that you might end up alone. BUT and this is very's going to be OKAY. I'm here to tell you that being alone, is not so bad...if you're prepared for it of course, and this is why I write.

My dear younger self, I wish someone had told me at 19 that Fate might have it so that you may never meet that perfect someone. He may not turn up and hold your hand and pick you up from the rubble. Being alone is a reality and we need to prepare ourselves for it. Start to work on feeling complete all by yourself, don't wait around for that perfect stranger to fill in the empty spaces, be strong, be free and most importantly, be your own woman.

There will be dreams to chase, places to see and plenty of people to care about. You will find yourself happy on many occassions but sadness will be inevitable. The key thing here is, don't wait. Don't waste your time hanging around waiting for the perfect man to show up and save you from whatever it is you're running from. Face your fears, conquer your battles and live not expecting someone to make you happy. Don't be afraid to leap when the opportunity knocks either, find love and give love freely. Don't let those great fun experiences pass you by.

I swear, if someone wrote me a letter like this one when I was your age, it might've saved me a lot of time. But I am here, now, and I look forward to meeting my older self. She might have some good advice...:)

xoxo Current Happsgirl


  1. This sent shivers down my spine. Beautifully written.

  2. thanks my dear!

  3. What's wrong with you, girl? Being alone is "not so bad"???? You're missing the point - it's effing fantastic! Cos...when you're single you're always ready to mingle! And that surely ain't bad at all, no?

  4. Just found your blog and I love it. I just started blogging myself. I am going on a mission to have an exclusive relationship with myself after many failed relationships. Feel free to check it out:

  5. I love this. I wish I could write myself such a letter. Sigh. Babe you are amazing, smart, funny, gorgeous. That's all you need to know. You don't need a man to validate those facts.

  6. Holy shiz. I must confess: I used to preoccupy my time in class by writing to a future love/husband. Totally in love with this person whom I've never met. I swear manga can really turn a girl into a deeper hopeless romantic. BUT. I try to not conjure up lists of the perfect man anymore because perfect is impossible. Instead, I am satisfied with having a relationship knowing that one day all good things must come to an end. );

  7. P.S. Read and annotate Into the Wild if you haven't.